By Tom Thomas –
It’s all in little tiny bits here and there; at home and in the office; and in the memory lane of myself and my family that dad still comes to life after his passing away on March 16, 2023! These reminders of his absence turns into presence for me a Christian!
In the office, it might be the stack of ParleG biscuits wrappers kept in a shiny steel container; at home, it would be his many writings that were made over the past couple of decades filed away neatly and systematically numbered after his spiritual exercises retreat or diaries that he meticulously chronicled each day, or the set of handwritten prayers he kept next to his well-worn-out Holy Bible, or his beloved plants on the three levels of our house which he used to tend with such care or his stack of safari suits that he was accustomed to step out in, dressed to perfection always.
The paper man comes for his monthly bill payment and is shocked when I tell him Dad, who he used to interact with regularly, is no more. “He was such a nice man,” he mourns. Almost all who interacted with Dad, experienced his positive outlook. Dad used to look through the newspapers each day often scanning the obituaries to see who had departed. The papers on March 18th 2023 carried his own obit.
So many indelible ways Dad’s life remains with us. As his only son, who has been with him almost my entire life – except for the three years I was away in the US pursuing my Masters in Engineering – there is a void following his demise. A gaping chasm that is difficult to fill for all of us – my sisters, our respective spouses, our children. He was connected to all of us in whatever we did in life.
Yet as I go through his writings, I get solace. This is what Dad wanted and was praying for so many years. To be with the Lord. In the almost 28 years that we lost my mom, we stayed with him for almost an equivalent period of time. He never once complained about the loneliness which he must have felt internally, and endeavoured to fulfil our mom’s role in our lives also.
I quote from his penultimate retreat (Saturday 25th Feb 2023) before his passing: “ I am closing my life cycle with a feeling of exhilaration and excitement, having fully reconciled with my Creator for all my past transgressions. The Lord himself has given me a new and right spirit in my heart. It is fully energised and activated and in the coming days I am going to start experiencing the fruits of this new spirit. Wherever I look, on earth, below the earth and above the earth, I see only the footprints of God. The multitude of the living and non-living things exist only by the power of God. Happy are those who are touched by the Lord and experience His love and tender care.”
The Lord indeed had touched my Dad. All those who came in contact with him experienced this in one way or other. Dad lives on in these shared experiences we have and his writings that we hope to bring out to the world soon, which show the happy journey of a Soul towards Him.
It is coincidental that we lost Dad during the Holy season of Lent and we know that he is with the Resurrected Christ now. My dark mood lifted and drifted away like clouds during the Easter Vigil Mass, as this is what our Catholic faith teaches us. That the one who believes in Him never dies but lives on.
The various appearances of the resurrected Christ that we see narrated in the Gospels and in the Acts of Apostles, show how the appearances of the Lord gave them hope and strength by instilling in them the right Spirit.
Picture the transformation of Peter during the fishing expedition on the shore of Tiberias! When Peter says, “I am going fishing” in Jn 21:3. We see in the following verses how Peter’s encounter with the Risen Christ indeed makes him go back to fishing for souls. The inner transformation and encounter with the Risen Christ are the only way to explain how a motley crew of eleven, could have carried out the Mission, He had entrusted to them and that touches us even more now after two thousand years through the Sacraments, the Holy Mass, and especially the words in the Holy Bible. Dad honoured and lived by the pathways left to us by the Apostles and Saints!
The tiny bits of reminders that Dad has left behind are indeed sacramentals for my transformation!
“.. I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he dies, yet he shall live.” Jn 11:25