By Adrian Stevens –
“To say that man is created in the image and likeness of God means that man is created to exist for others, to become a gift.”
– Pope John Paul II, Mulieris Dignitatem
The modern outlook of manhood is largley measured by a statement of expression of testosterone these days. This framework of physicality has a lead to an aggressive lifestyle of dominance. As we have progressed sociologically and economically the role of fatherhood has evolved from being merely bread winner to playmate and emotional coach to a domestic partner to his spouse.
The role of a self giving father has a significant relevance to the Indian context of fatherhood which is benchmarked against the tradition of being served rather than being of service. The spirit of today’s globalized world is a lot more expressive through our youth and we will fail to serve and channelize this expression if we approach our kids with the authoritarian mindset of being served.
Fortunately for us Christian dads, there is no greater example than our Lord Jesus who said that He came to serve, not to be served. Service begins with letting go of pride and welcoming the hug of humility. Joseph is one of my favourite biblical icons of fatherhood and hence I just love drawing from him. The facet of self-giving has never been more accurately portrayed by this saint
than any other when associated with the role of fatherhood. It is difficult to imagine that Joseph actually ran away from his calling only to be hunted down by God and finally returned to his role
as the head of the holy family. In this new role, he gave himself fully to the extent of practising self-control to ensure the mother of God could fulfill the tabernacle experience of pregnancy. This
called for a total self-giving of his time, energy and position as head of the family to serve Gods calling. Joseph must have been a courageous man to play second fiddle to all that he might
have dreamed of professionally.
The basic act of self-giving has a myriad demands on a dad; one of the biggest is of his time through the expression of his relationship. We could ask ourselves as to how much time we are
ready to spend with our kids. Again, how we define quality time is an important differentiator. Otherwise we will literally give them time by buying them an expensive ticket to an IPL match to
watch their favourite team along with friends, rather than enjoy a game of football with them rolling in the dust in the backyard.
One of our colloborators in the book “ Good Fathers to Great Fathers “ notes that we must devote time and energy and be absolutely self-giving. and that it is not possible without the father being physically present. This sometimes involves even a relook at careers and complimentary roles either spouse can take to ensure adequate time is available to our kids.
In conclusion it is imperative that we proportion time and energy to this precious being we are gifted with. The role of a self giving father can never be outsourced, unfortunately this is the abysmal state of modern man who is busy chasing money and careers at the cost of children. This act of giving oneself in the role of being Dad reflects Christ’s expectation of his disciples that they serve rather than be served.
Adrian Stevens is a brand strategist and an experienced marketing consultant. As a professional brand consultant he has enjoyed success serving large multi national corporations like Olgilvy and smaller start ups too. He helps business entities thrive in the market through strategic innovations, defining the business strategy and working to help the whole organisation live out the vision and mission of its founders. Married to Maryanne he has three wonderful daughters Anika, Ashara and Abigail. He is passionate about brands and has co-authored a book with Chris D’Souza titled Good Fathers To Great Dads. Adrian has a bachelors degree from Bangalore University and a post graduate qualification in marketing management.