By Tom Thomas.
In the run-up to Lent, it is interesting that the Holy Father keeps the focus every week on a specific vice. This time around (General Audience of 7th February 2024) it is on the Vice of Sorrow.
It is natural for all human beings to experience sorrow at some point or another in their lives, so how can it be called a vice? Reading the words of the Holy Father gives clarity. “ First and foremost, it must be noted that, with regard to sorrow, the Fathers drew an important distinction: it is this. There is, in fact, a sorrow that is appropriate to Christian life and that, with God’s grace, can be changed into joy: obviously, this must not be rejected and forms part of the path of conversion. But there is a second type of sorrow that creeps into the soul and prostrates it in a state of despondency: it is this second kind of sorrow that must be fought resolutely and with every strength because it comes from the evil one. This distinction is also found in Saint Paul, who wrote to the Corinthians: “Godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation and brings no regret, but worldly grief produces death” (2 Cor 7:10).”
I start to understand this concept. I felt extreme sorrow at the passing of my dear dad less than a year ago. Grief would overwhelm me at times in the immediate days and weeks following his earthly departure. I felt so many times, like the words expressed in the poem Shifting the Sun by American Armenian poet Diana Der- Hovanessian. The opening and closing stanzas read:
“When your father dies, say the Irish
you lose your umbrella against bad weather.
May his sun be your light, say the Armenians.
When your father dies, say the Armenians,
your sun shifts forever
and you walk in his light.”
Over the months, I started to feel better and channelled the sad emotions into efforts to bring out my father’s spiritual writings. This, I understand from the Holy Father, is a healthy type of sorrowing. He adds, “Here is, therefore, a friendly sorrow that leads us to salvation. Think of the prodigal son of the parable: when he reaches the depths of his degeneracy, he feels great bitterness, and this prompts him to come to his senses and to decide to return home to his father (cf. Lk 15:11-20). It is a grace to lament over one’s own sins, to remember the state of grace from which we have fallen, to weep because we have lost the purity in which God dreamed of us.”
We are cautioned that the second type of sorrow is the vice to be careful about. The Holy Father says, “But there is a second sorrow, which is instead an ailment of the soul. It arises in the human heart when a desire or hope vanishes. Here we can refer to the account of the disciples of Emmaus, in the Gospel of Luke. Those two disciples leave Jerusalem with a disappointed heart, and they confide to the stranger who at one point accompanies them: “We had hoped that he – Jesus – was the one to redeem Israel” (Lk 24:21). The dynamic of sorrow is linked to the experience of loss, the experience of loss. In the heart of man, hopes arise that are sometimes dashed. It can be the desire to possess something that we are unable to obtain, but it can also be something important, such as an emotional loss. When this happens, it is as if man’s heart falls from a precipice, and the sentiments he feels are discouragement, weakness of the spirit, depression, and anguish. We all go through ordeals that generate sorrow in us, because life makes us conceive dreams that are then shattered. In this situation, some, after a time of turmoil, rely on hope, but others wallow in melancholy, allowing it to fester in their hearts. Does one take pleasure in this? See: sorrow is like the pleasure of non-pleasure; it is like taking a bitter, bitter, bitter candy without sugar, unpleasant, and sucking that candy. Sorrow is taking pleasure in non-pleasure.”
I need to warn myself against falling into the second type of sorrow. Trying to correlate with the experiences of Peter and Judas’ attitude towards Jesus during the last hours of the Passion as described in the Gospels, maybe Peter experienced the first type of sorrow when he betrayed Jesus thrice, and Judas experienced the second type of sorrow when he betrayed Jesus for the thirty pieces of silver.
The Holy Father also quotes from the desert fathers on this vice of sorrow: “It is a devious demon, that of sorrow. The fathers of the desert described is as a worm of the heart, which erodes and hollows out its host. This is a good image: it lets us understand. A worm in the heart that consumes and hollows out its host. We must beware of this sorrow, and think that Jesus brings us the joy of resurrection. But what must I do when I am sad? Stop and look: is this a good sorrow? Is it a sorrow that is not so good? And react according to the nature of the sorrow. Do not forget that sorrow can be a very bad thing that leads us to pessimism, that leads us to a selfishness that is difficult to cure.”
As we head into Holy Week, it is good to ponder upon these teachings and also draw inspiration from those who have overcome sorrow in a positive Christian manner. I feel inspired by the life of a friend who lost three children in infancy and now, despite being childless, dedicates her life to a full-time counselling ministry for the Lord. How could you overcome this unbearable loss, one after the other? I ask her. “The joy of the Lord is my strength,” she replies. She has transcended sorrow in her Christian life and mission.
The quote from French Catholic Novelist Leon Bloy reinforces the lessons taught by the Holy Father on how to overcome the Vice of Sorrow:
“The only real sadness, the only real failure, the only great tragedy in life, is not to become a saint.”