By Sr Lini Sheeja, MSC
Life is a wonderful gift; an opportunity and a privilege to behold. During times of great desperation and hopelessness, one turns to the Creator and receives the ray of hope in one’s life. There is a desire in every human being to become good. No one is born a criminal. Give everyone a second chance and see the wonders one can bring forth. Spirituality often becomes more important to us in times of tragedy, loss, suffering and illness because it connects us to both our higher power and those around us, helps us to find meaning and purpose, and brings us hope and healing. It was the same with Aadhesh (name changed); when he encountered God, the transformation began. He regained the lost beauty of life.
Rejection to Redirection
Aadhesh was a wonderful gift to his parents as he was the elder and long-awaited child. He was born on 01 June 1974 at Bengaluru, Karnataka. His parents considered him a blessing to the family. The love of family is one of life’s greatest blessings. Aadhesh received love and care in abundance from his parents. After a few years, Aadhesh’s parents had a second baby and all the attention went to the second one. As both the children grew, Aadhesh was constantly compared with his younger brother, Arjun, in matters of studies and other activities. Arjun excelled in studies and co-curricular activities at school. Arjun was looked up to which aggravated the situation at home. As the days passed, Aadhesh felt ignored and rejected by his mother, who bestowed her affection only on her younger son. Aadhesh saw his younger brother being well cared for, while he was ignored even when he was sick. He heard his mother telling his father, “When we become old, it will be the younger son who will look after us” and hence, they neglected Aadhesh. He developed severe sibling rivalry and felt unwanted in the family.
Bad Company Ruins Good Morals
After the completion of Class 10, he did not want to continue his education. He loitered around for almost 3 years without stepping into the school. In his need for acceptance, he went out and joined a gang of dacoits who made him feel wanted in their peer group. Since Aadhesh had good physique – tall, hefty and energetic – he was indispensable to the group. To gain their acceptance, he had to get involved in their illegal activities of looting and murder. He jumped headlong into all their criminal acts and felt affirmed and welcomed by them. But in the long run, he had to pay too big a prize for having become a member of the gang.
At the age of 21, he got arrested under Section 307 and served time for 2 ½ years. Once out on bail, he was arrested for a second time within 10 months. After serving for 2 years, he was granted bail for a second time and within a few months was arrested under Section 391 for dacoity. As a double murderer and dacoit, he was arrested and taken under custody for several years with no hope of being granted bail or release. He spent the first few years of imprisonment in frustration. He was carrying within himself feelings of rejection and non-acceptance, which he had experienced during childhood. When his mother visited him in prison, she turned down his request for help to pay the lawyer’s fees, and so he lost hope of getting out of prison on bail.
Aadhesh lost his father when he was an undertrial prisoner. He could not even attend his father’s funeral. That was the greatest tragedy in Aadhesh’s life till then, that he could not see his father’s face for the last time. To add to his pain and despair, his mother blamed him saying, “You killed your father!” She accused him of being the cause of his father’s death and for his brother becoming an alcoholic. The accusations of his loved ones pierced his heart. He had nowhere to go except to Jesus Christ, who redeemed the world by His Holy Cross, washed the sin of the world by his precious blood.
Encountering God: No Past is Dark Enough
Aadhesh spent several years in prison and went through a sort of metamorphosis: drastic changes happened during his life in prison. His transformation impressed everyone. ‘Formerly the world was my God and now God is my world’, it is between closed walls that people look for a ray of hope. People who are filled with shame and guilt look for ways and means to begin a new life. The lost ones look for their Good Shepherd, whose unconditional, healing touch and forgiving love bring them to a renewed life. Aadhesh started to spent long hours in prayer, recalling the painful incidents and circumstances that made him move away from home and start a life of crime. When all doors were closed, Aadhesh turned to God.
Changes began to take place in him, as he opened his heart to the healing touch of the Divine Healer. Each prayer meeting brought within him a thirst to read, reflect and dwell deeply on the Word of God. He started meditating on the quotation from Isaiah, “Can a woman, forget her nursing child, or show no compassion for the child of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you” (Is 49:15). It helped him to experience within him the personal love of a Living God, who could fulfil every need of his heart.
I am No More the Old One
As Aadhesh grew in his experience of God’s love through prayer and through his contact with the nuns and priests from Prison Ministry India who visited the prison regularly, he received new insights. They helped him rekindle his lost hope. The change in his personality was visible to all. Once a constable asked him on the way to court, “Did you really commit this crime you are accused of? Looking at your face, I don’t feel that you are a criminal”. Every onlooker had the same feeling about him. His transformation was not just external; he had become an inspiration to others through his behaviour. Once he was offered a bottle of rum by his old friends when they came to visit him in prison. They placed a drinking straw in the rum bottle secretly and passed it through the iron mesh in the visiting area. Aadhesh had the courage and determination to refuse saying, “I am no longer that Aadhesh who was with you some time ago”. His friends were truly surprised. Though they were disappointed, they recognised the change in their friend.
Aadhesh experienced closeness with the Creator and he said to himself, “If I die or live, I live for the Lord. What does it matter, if I live in the prison all my life or I live outside? The only thing I want is to live for the Lord”. He even stated that if he was called to the court and was questioned by the judge on whether or not he had committed the crime, he would admit to it. He said, “I am now a child of God and I refuse to tell a lie. I will admit to my crime.” Many of the inmates would object to accepting such a stand as they fear their punishment would be confirmed for life.
The Lord was so pleased with his total surrender that miraculously he was acquitted and the release order was issued by the court within a week of his making such a statement. Aadhesh gave his life testimony in the last prayer meeting that he attended in prison. On the day of his release, his friends came to receive him at the prison gate. On his way back home, his friends wanted to celebrate his return at a bar, but he refused. Later he procured a job and lived with his mother, taking good care of her as long as she lived. Aadhesh is now happily married and he uses his spare time in evangelisation, sharing God’s word along with his life experience, thus helping others to live a value-based life.
Matchstick Burns: Man of Fire
‘Light yourself on fire with passion and people will come from miles around to watch you burn’. We need to burn ourselves completely for the Lord. Aadhesh is filled with the fire of passion for the Lord who touched him personally and transformed him. The God who has created us is faithful. Aadhesh is ready to do anything for the Lord. He carries the Holy Bible wherever he goes. God’s Word is not just to be heard and repeated; it is to be breathed, lived and emulated in each action. The man who had heard and repeated the Word of God within the prison walls breathes and lives it in every moment of his life. God had intervened in Aadhesh’s life and blessed him with a life looking beyond his imperfections. When Aadhesh narrates the goodness of the Lord, people are moved to tears. Having experienced the personal touch of the Lord, today, Aadhesh is able to transform many hearts and lead them to the Lord.
I am convinced that the Lord is delighted with people like Aadhesh and several others whom He touched and transformed during their prison life. They have turned over a new leaf in their lives after having been touched by God, His values and His Word. “For as the rain and snow come down from heaven and do not return there until they have watered the earth making it bring forth and sprout giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my Word be that goes out from my mouth. It shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose and succeed in the thing for which I send it” (Is 55:10-11). I believe that the transformation of a person who had lived a life away from God’s light and was dragged into a life of darkness and crime can be done, and that they can be brought back to light once again, only by the touch of God and His Word. A touch that is loving and saving. We can only be His instruments in reaching out to others in need, with our love and compassion. When God gives us grace, He does not measure and give; He pours it like rain. My prayer before the Lord is that many more of our brethren behind the bars may receive this rain that the Lord wants to pour.
Sr Lini Sheeja, MSC, is the National Secretary, Prison Ministry India