By Chris D’Souza –
Have you ever found yourself in a dilemma when it came to making a difficult decision? To add to it, did you ever wonder what God might be leading you to do? I have.
Try and think of a tricky decision you had to make that involved uncertain circumstances.. What thoughts or feelings did you experience? Perhaps you can identify with confusion, frustration or lack of control?
Our present circumstances may throw a variety of challenges or even opportunities at us, forcing us to make decisions. It might be a family situation, work stress from a new project, job loss or even a new job offer that is presented to us.
Also read: Part II: Decision Making in Uncertain Times
In these days of uncertainty, decision making becomes all the more challenging, because in the environment of the ‘new normal’, the number of unknowns keeps changing.
Let’s imagine you’re driving a car. Normally, as an experienced driver, part of your focus is on driving, part on the road, the scenery and other random thoughts. But think of the time you first learned to drive. When learning to drive, a lot more of your mindshare goes into the act of driving. Making decisions in an uncertain environment is similar to learning to drive. When the mind encounters uncertainty, it is forced to get into a more deliberate thought process. This results in a higher investment in deliberate thought that could eventually lead to a cognitive overload.
To be able to make decisions (again a process that requires mental bandwidth), the brain needs control and clarity. That means that uncertainty needs to be reduced so that the mind is freed up for decision making. When our cognitive overload is reduced, we have more mental bandwidth for the actual decisions.
In addition to freeing up our minds to make better decisions, the key to proper decision making is found by gaining clarity around the situation, studying the pros and cons of the impact of each possible choice, knowing what our overall purpose is and making a timely decision that would move us forward.
Besides, as Christians, we are also looking for inner peace and that is sought by following what we understand as God’s direction, our own values and legitimate authority.
But how can we be sure we are on the right track when it comes to discerning where God is leading us?
There is an old story about a captain of a ship who had to guide his ship at night via a treacherously rocky coastline before reaching the harbor. He had made this journey several times and with utmost precision despite the darkness and lack of advanced equipment to help him navigate. A young sailor on the ship observed this each time. The boy noticed one thing in particular. Just before the captain made the final stretch of the journey, he would intently look ahead and then suddenly stop and steer the vessel safely into the harbor. Finally, he decided to ask the captain as to what he was looking for before he made that final approach and how he decided when to take the turn. The captain explained that he was looking for three different lights that were visible on the shore. As he sailed closer and approached a particular point, all three lights would line up as one single light in the darkness. That was his sign! When the lights lined up, he confidently took the turn to make that final approach.
Remember those three lights. When making decisions in unchartered waters, we need those three lights to align as one. They are 1) God in His Word 2) God in our Heart and 3) God in Circumstances. Let’s look at them individually.
Understand God in His Word:
- Study God’s Word: The best way to understand God’s general or overall guidance is to acquaint oneself with Scripture – not just what it means to me while reading it, but what it means in its objective sense, which leads us to the next point.
- Understand Church Teaching: There can’t be ten contradicting interpretations of one scripture text. That is why we need and have the magisterium (‘teaching office’) of the Church.
- Understand Faith Based Principles: Some timeless yet basic principles are:
- A proper understanding of the concept of free will (which is often misunderstood) and possible choices thereof. The Catholic understanding of free will is broad but it clearly instructs us that while God has given us free will to choose or reject His grace, He wills for each of us to be saved and live with Him forever (CCC 600, 2037). Interestingly, neuroscientists at the John Hopkin’s University have mapped areas in the brain up unto the act of decision making and they say it strongly supports the existence of the concept of free will.
- The necessity of following the existing light / clarity that we already have and take a step in that direction, before we seek more light. Progressive illumination, you might call it.
Often we clamour for supernatural guidance when we already have good resources (including our own common sense – which is a huge gift of God) to take the next step. We also tend to forget that God, who created our brain, can also work through it.
Discern God in Your Heart:
- Discern your Motives before you go ahead with your decision: Our choices can be traced to motives, some clearly evident and some not so evident. It’s always a good idea to dig deeper and look at our motives. To be able to make a good decision, we need an impartial frame of mind and that’s where we need to examine our motives. If you still aren’t clear, try to run your thoughts and motives by another trusted person.
“All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight, but the Lord weighs the motives” Pv 16:2
There are various forms of discernment and a noteworthy classical form comes from the spirituality of St. Ignatius of Loyola. It has stood the test of time and is popular among religious communities as well as among individuals seeking direction in life.
- Formulate your Personal Vision, Mission & Values: Creating and referring to a carefully thought out personal vision, mission and values statement is a sure-shot way of making a good decision because it supports you with direction to proceed and criteria to validate a choice. Have you considered writing your own personal mission? If you haven’t made your personal vision, mission or values statements, this is a good time to work them. There are several online tools to help you create them. Franklin Covey has a very good mission statement builder.
- Look at your Dispositions and Sentiments: Pope Francis in his address ‘I dream of a restless Church’ on 10th Nov 2015 to the national convention of the Italian Church, gives us a few sentiments or traits that aid making decisions with strength. The first one is humility (Phil 3:2), we seek the glory of God, not preserving our personal glory. Then comes an attitude of disinterest to any particular outcome, which also prompts us to look for the interests of others first (Phil 2:4). Lastly, he encourages us to put on the sentiments of the beatitudes which encourage solidarity and even sacrifice. These three traits form the basis of ‘Christian Humanism’ that the Pope talks about – a humanism that is not obsessed with power or money or self, but result in the blessing of decisions made with a greater mission in mind.
- Work on your Biases & Fears: Our biases are often created when we let our intuition or perceptions take over a task that needs to be done by our logical mind. An example of a ‘Confirmation’ bias is looking for a newspaper or channel that already confirms our preferred views. ‘Familiarity’ bias pushes us along a known, beaten track although we know it may not yield results in new challenging circumstances. Next, beware of strong emotions like anger that can shoot through our system and create biases. Another enemy of good decision making is fear. It can paralyze us into doubt and inaction. It’s important to analyze and deal with the cause of the fear to uproot it. If you find your decision making swayed by too many biases and fears, it might be the right time to talk to a counsellor.
Reflect: Is there a bias or fear or trait I can identify in my life that might be skewing my decision-making? How will I get rid of it?
Chris is an Executive / Life Coach and Talent Consultant with around 20+ years’ experience in People Development and Global Delivery in various organizations – IBM, HCL Technologies and Citibank. He is presently Director at Lead Strategic Development Pvt. Ltd. He conducts leadership training and coaching for corporates, colleges and religious institutions. For a complimentary 45min coaching session, contact him at [email protected]