By Fr. Francis Gonsalves, SJ –
On her eighty-fifth birthday a woman was asked: “What is the secret of your happiness?” She replied, “At our age, it’s important to keep using all our potential or it dries up. It’s vital to be with people and earn one’s living.” She was asked again, “Do you still work for a living?” She replied, “Oh, yes! I look after an old lady nearby!”
Today, October 1st is ‘International Day of Older Persons’. The UN does not define who ‘older persons’ are. You and I can decide whether we come under this category or not. Interestingly, no matter how young you are, people always ask: “How old are you?” I know many old who are young; and many young who are old. Some youth even retire before they begin working. Age is not so much a matter of the body as it is of the mind.
In my 50-plus years, I’ve been boasting: “I’ve never spent a single day or night in any hospital for any ailment!” Alas, a month ago I was hospitalized and horizontalized, undergoing traction for three days for severe backache. In moments like these one realizes that one must sometimes heed the medico’s advice to: ‘Go slow!’.
Growing old gracefully is not easy. Some get depressed when they enter vanaprastha—literally, ‘retiring into the forest’—stage of life when one compulsorily retires from official service on account of age. This needn’t be a time for regression or depression. Rather, to retire is time to ‘re-tyre’ one’s mental, physiological, psychological and spiritual engines to embark upon something new and soul-satisfying.
Hinduism has beautiful Shashti Poorti ceremonies commemorating advancement into the 60s—a time to be grateful not only to the Indian Railways for welcome discounts, but to look inward and Godward with gladness and gratitude. When society asks you to hand over the reins of ‘power’ which has been given to you from outside, you can simply draw from inside and be an ‘authority’ in the art, science or skill you’ve mastered over some forty years.
The Bible describes God as the ‘Ancient of Days’ (Dan 7:9), and, on the one hand, tells of characters like Sarah who was beautiful in her old age (Gen 12:11,14) and Moses who, aged 120 years at death, was “with undimmed sight and unabated vigour” (Deut 34:7). However, on the other hand, blind Isaac was deceived by his wife (Gen 27).
The Bible warns about serious consequences for those who disrespect and forsake their parents (Prov 19:26; 30:17). So, how do we care for our elderly, loved ones? Are your elders at home comfortable? Do you consider them as burdens or blessings? Remember the times they fed you and fondled you, taught you and brought you up to ‘who’ you are today. Even if your house is small, it’s enough that your heart is big to embrace them with love, gratitude and compassion.
The elderly respond beautifully to a loving glance, a hug, a kiss, or a kind, compassionate word. Only their children can do this. Rather than delivering moving funeral eulogies and writing touching words on tombstones, let’s touch our aged ones, here and now.
Today, I remember Robert Browning’s words: “Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be; the last of life, for which the first was made.” Remember, old is gold!
Fr. Francis Gonsalves is a Gujarat Jesuit, former Principal of Vidyajyoti College, Delhi, and currently Dean of Theology at Jnana-Deepa Vidyapeeth, Pune. He is also the Executive Secretary of the CCBI Commission for Theology and Doctrine. He has authored many books and articles and is a columnist with The Asian Age and The Deccan Chronicle national dailies.