Tom Thomas –
“Let us set out on the path of fasting and use these 40 days to take stock of ourselves, to free ourselves from the dictatorship of full schedules, crowded agendas, and superficial needs, and choose the things that truly matter,” the Holy Father said on Ash Wednesday last week in the Mass to start the Season of Lent at the Basilica of Santa Sabina, Rome.
“This the favourable time to be converted, to stop looking at ourselves and to start looking into ourselves.” Pope Francis added.
These words shook me up as my wife had told me just the day before, “ Why is it that you always have to appear busy?” I have been guilty of a regimented schedule, from waking up to day end, chalking out activities like daily Mass, exercise, work etc on a regular and routine basis till almost bedtime. This leaves me with a full schedule and a crowded agenda most days. To the world, I am doing what it takes to be successful, keeping every moment busy – but not in the eyes of the Lord.
What are the things that truly matter to the Lord? Could having an uncrowded schedule that had free time help me discern this?
I tried to make my schedule as uncrowded as possible on the first Sunday of Lent as an experiment in this regard.
Almost immediately I ran into challenges. The WhatsApp notifications buzzing were taking away my focus. “We have a free slot at 12:30. Would you like to play?” read one such message from my golfing group. I parked the phone away , out of sight, with only the ring tone set to alert me if any calls came. Very few did really the whole day. Have I become a slave to WhatsApp? My mind being influenced by every message, I wondered after some time away from the phone, which really did not need to be with me 24*7.
The morning time before Mass allowed me to reflect on the readings of the day. Mt 4:1-11 the Sunday Gospel mentions how our Lord Jesus Christ was tempted thrice by the evil one after forty days of fasting. He could resist these temptations by quoting from the Word of God and the inner strength gained by fasting and the forty days of solitude. Reflecting on this Gospel, the Father mentioned that these temptations we also are subject to: Lust for the Flesh, Eyes and Possessions. We have to be strengthened to face these temptations by withdrawal from the world for some time, fasting and intensely reading and striving to understand the scriptures as our Lord did.
The invitingly sunny Sunday morning beckoned after the Mass. Summer had not yet set in and there are so many activities that one can do on a relatively traffic-free day, many distractions that can take away one’s focus from Him.
We return home, the children get busy with their studies. All normal external activities are cancelled, the peace of the morning envelops. I pick up a book that a kindly Franciscan Friar gifted me. “The Sign of Jonas“ by Thomas Merton some time ago. My busy (for what purpose?) schedule had kept me from finding some time to read the book. Today I had time though. Flicking through the pages of the book penned by a once busy and worldly person who found Him in the life of a contemplative monk in a monastery, I come across something that stands out.
“The Christian life – and especially the contemplative life- is a continual discovery of Christ in new and unexpected places. And these discoveries are sometimes most profitable when you find Him in something you tended to overlook and even despise. Then the awakening is purer and its effect more keen, because He is so close at hand and you neglected Him.”
Convicted by these words, I think of the many times in the past week, when I have ignored the pleas of those asking for alms, or my employee who needed something for me, or my family members needing time with me, or my grumbling when my precious me-time was encroached upon or even my not giving a kind word or look to the stranger next to me. I have not been a Christian at these times and Christ was not within me.
Reflecting on these insights and resolving to do better, I realized that the Holy Father’s words are indeed profound if we can apply to them to our lives, not only during the period of Lent, but even beyond that. The words of St Augustine ring in my mind, they seem to have a special significance on the insight gained by freeing my schedule:
“Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by the accidents of time, or place, or circumstances, are brought into closer connection with you.” – St. Augustine