By Subhasis Chattopadhyay –
God wants you to be happy. Not foolishly smiling but to be content in whatever circumstances you are in right now. The past is gone, the future does not exist, and you have only the present moment to reshape your life. Contentment does not come from riches or learning or having a better car than your neighbour. Peace does not come from having higher exam scores than your friend. Nor can it come totally from God. You must make some effort at letting God help you. No matter whether you are a Hindu or a Christian.
If you feel the need to change the world then perhaps you need to spend a few decades changing yourself. Because the urge to change what is outside may hide an inner restlessness and distrust of Divine Providence. It is not for selfish reasons that Hindu seers, most of them married, spent years trying to figure out who they were and why they needed to know God first before teaching others. It is not for nothing that St. Ignatius of Loyola originally wanted his sons to study and pray long before they entered active ministry. The urge to help others is noble; but the urge to help others without helping oneself first is not a good idea. It is a temptation to meaningless action. It is like wanting to be a teacher without studying long hours oneself. You are ready to help others only when you know that things are as they should be, and you do not feel the urge to intervene in the flow of things. If you are tempted to intervene; think whether it is all self-glory or God’s glory you are looking for. For prayers can do that which human effort cannot even imagine. The Sanatana Dharma and Christianity both teach this truth: the life interior is way more important than an exterior jazzy life.
Here are concrete steps to help you recover yourself from a model of learned helplessness to a life of interior quiet in sync with God’s Majesty. These are baby steps:
- Give yourself and others some slack. Do not judge others. But first, do not judge yourself too harshly. If you fail at something, pick yourself up and carry on. If you succeed, good, thank God and push yourself even more. Neither be a workaholic. Workaholics are running from life. They hide behind their perceived feelings of success and achievement.
- Do not brood on how miserable your life is. Keep an online journal where just before you retire for the night write two good things which happened to you today. And thank God for them. Tell none. Day after day if you do this, over the years you will see that you are blessed. No matter how hard the present seems to be. Just two good things. Perhaps you can use a password protected Word file or Google Keep or Joplin. But make it a habit. Then you are already turning away from things of this passing world and seeing how God is always with you; even when you are in the dumps.
- If you have an addiction: smoking, drugs, or drinking, seek professional help and reduce whatever you are addicted to gradually. Not suddenly. If you stop suddenly then there will be a rebound effect and your addiction(s) will return with greater control of you. This has more to do with brain chemistry than with anything else. So, at the cost of repeating, give yourself some slack.
- Read and read some more. Read what you like. But read. Read daily. Both holy books of your Faith and high literature. Reading apart from many other things, changes the brain and forms new neural connections preventing the risks of dementia and other psychiatric diseases. Reading is now accepted as therapeutic.
- Get off social media. Research shows that social media like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter heighten anxiety. Simply deleting these social media accounts will make your life better and for starters, you will sleep longer and better and feel happier. Social media addiction is now classified as a psychiatric disorder to be treated by medical professionals.
- Get moving. Research shows that sedentary lifestyles are as bad as smoking. During this ongoing pandemic, do not go out, stay home. But at home, do chores, freehand exercises and do (Hatha) Yoga. But burn those calories at home. Good health is the ultimate wealth.
- Pay yourself first. And give to the needy. Automate savings and see the effects of compounding. And give to the poor money, food, and clothing. Especially help poor kids. All these without your family or anyone knowing. Including the poor kid(s) you choose to help. Good financial habits and frugality help. Money is needed to the extent that it helps you to be independent and focussed on God. Crushing poverty is not an ennobling thing. Unless you are a Hindu or Catholic celibate vowed to poverty, you must take care of your finances. Budget in such a way that you pay yourself first. Have medical insurance. People go bankrupt paying medical bills. Live beneath your means and do not show off.
And do not forget to take care of your aged parents; your grandparents and to live as if today is your last day on earth. Then you would have changed your life even within these Covid times. Look at containments and lockdowns and COVID restrictions as time from God to change yourself. When you are old and your time has come, you should be able to tell your family, you tried your best.
All the best. Give yourself some slack.
Subhasis Chattopadhyay teaches English at the UG and the PG Department of English at a non-community college affiliated to the University of Calcutta. He studied the Bible from the Pontifical Atheneum, Bengaluru. His studies in Hinduism were done summa cum laude from the Oxford Centre for Hindu Studies. He has studied separately, the behavioural sciences. He has been a book reviewer for Prabuddha Bharata from 2010 and his reviews have been showcased on the websites of Presses. He annotates the Bible here and is now working on his own books. He began his blogging career with Instamedia run from Shimla. He remains a recluse and a bibliophile.