Dr Jeanette Pinto –
What a joy to witness a married couple celebrate their Silver, Ruby or Golden Wedding Anniversary, how blessed their family has been through their loving presence. Being faithful to each other for many very years certainly calls for celebration. Marriage is a strong bond that ties two individuals and wraps them in the warmth of social, emotional, legal and even physical bonding. Society today sadly suffers from an epidemic of broken families and especially fatherlessness. Fatherhood is a gift. The statistics of children in advanced countries living without a biological adoptive or stepfather in the home is stunning and unbelievable. One wonders where did all that love disappear?
Our world needs fathers. “The family is the community in which from childhood one can learn moral values, begin to honour God and make good use of freedom.” (CCC 2207) We all live in a fallen world but that does not mean that mother or father should down play their important God given role. In his Apostolic letter announcing the Year of St. Joseph, Patris Corde, Pope Francis affirms, “Our world today needs fathers…Every true vocation is born of the gift of oneself, which is the fruit of mature sacrifice.” A father is called to lead his children to God the Father, “from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named.” (Eph 3:15)
St. Joseph was a simple man of silent witness. God entrusted to him the duty to protect and defend the Holy Family, which was really the very first Church. He was humble and obedient to God’s plan. He listened to God and then made his life one of service and sacrifice to Jesus and Mary. St. Joseph’s example should be an inspiration to our worldly fathers. Fathers protect their families through countless selfless acts that often go unnoticed and sometimes unrecognized. So let them never under estimate the power of their presence in the lives of their families.
For Catholic fathers, the practice of faith is not the only thing, but its the basis of everything for bearing fruit in their children’s lives. Raising children to become mature, responsible, faithful adults is the whole point of Catholic fatherhood. This really begins with making the family a “domestic church’, and “a community of grace and prayer” (CCC, 1666) Most grandads wish they had spent more time with their children. Work of course takes precedence to keep the home fires burning, and the burdens of travel and work to support the family sometimes negatively impacts family life. Nevertheless, being an attentive devoted husband and father is job number ONE, and it might require pushing back on career demands, and making good choices.
Fathers who abandon their children and mothers who take their children away from their fathers have no idea of the price the children are going to pay. Children without fathers in the home are almost twice as likely to be hyperactive as children in homes with both parents. Studies have shown that suicides, runaways and homeless children grew up in fatherless homes. Also, it has been observed that children with behaviour disorders, of high school drop outs, of juveniles in state operated institutions and youths in prison grew up in homes without a father. Indeed, the most reliable predictor of crime is not poverty, it is not race, it is growing up without a dad.
The experience of fatherhood isn’t something that can be easily put into words. Its wonderful. It’s terrifying. Patience is a virtue that fathers must cultivate. It is the responsibility of fathers to guide the children to holiness. Fathers firstly must show respect for their wives, take on household and other tasks without complaint and also serve parish and community needs when possible. It transforms your relationships with everything else in your life: your spouse your work, your own parents and children. Catholic fatherhood brings immense joys, to see the growth of their children into young men and women which is a great satisfaction.
St. Joseph has not changed, what he was in the New Testament he has remained through all Christian history: – ‘the earthly father of our Saviour Jesus Christ, the chaste and loving husband of the Virgin Mary, an iconic witness to the dignity of work, and an effective guardian of the Church throughout the world.’ Among the many depictions St Joseph is portrayed as a man who sorts problems in a radical way. He finds solutions by being both brave and prudent.
In conclusion, here’s what Stratford Caldecott a Catholic writer wrote “in St Joseph, justice is combined with tenderness, strength and decisiveness with flexibility and openness to the will of God.” Our fathers could take a page out of this, and believe that their role of fatherhood is truly a gift from God.
Dr Jeanette Pinto, an educator for the past 5 decades, headed the Department of History was Vice Principal of St. Xavier’s College Mumbai, and retired as Principal of Sophia College, Mumbai. She is a counsellor and conductor of Personal Enrichment Programmes for students and teachers.
She set up the Human Life Committee in the Archdiocese of Bombay. As a sex educator she has given talks on Human Sexuality in India and abroad. In 2014 she received the Rachana Outstanding Woman of the Year for her Pro-life work presented by the Diocese of Mangalore. She has attended many National and International Pro-life conferences and given talks at other fora on various women’s issues.
She is author of a couple of books, her most recent ones are titled: I’m Pro-Life Are you? & Sex Talk: Parent to Child. She has also written a number of articles on a variety of themes and subjects, which have been published in research journals, The Examiner and other Catholic publications.